Tips For Teens to Effectively Communicate With Their Parents
Communication with anyone can be tricky occasionally, but it can be especially difficult to see eye to eye with parents sometimes. In the teen years, it’s not uncommon to feel like it’s becoming difficult to express your feelings. Sometimes it takes an adjustment period for parents as well while they come to terms with the fact that their child is growing up, becoming more independent, and forming their own opinions and identity. Whether you’re a teen looking for ways to communicate with your parents or a parent seeking help with communication skills for your teen, you’re in the right place. Today we’ll dive into a handful of ways to improve communication and make it more effective for better overall outcomes.
Practice listening skills
No matter who you’re communicating with, listening is an important skill to master. When trying to communicate with your parents, showing them that you are listening lets them know that you value and respect their opinions and what they may be trying to show you or ask of you. Listening doesn’t always mean that you agree with someone or even that you like what you’re hearing. However, it does show the person that you’re listening to that you love and respect them enough to hear them out and give consideration to whatever it is they have to say. Listening to others is often the first step in getting others to listen to you as well.
Speak up respectfully
Due to societal structures that have often benefitted from the silence of women, it is very common for women and teen girls to be made to feel that they are rude or aggressive for having a voice and advocating for themselves. Please remember that speaking up for yourself is not rude. There are plenty of ways to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences with your parents and others while being respectful and mindful of them. Learning to advocate for yourself is an important skill that will serve you for years to come. Sometimes it may take patience on everyone's part while parents learn to accept and respect that their daughter is becoming a young adult. However, approaching conversations with love and kindness goes a long way and makes speaking up easier and more effective for everyone. Remember, there doesn’t always need to be a conflict in order for you to speak up for yourself. In fact, a great way to avoid conflict may be to speak up and advocate for yourself.
Ask questions
Part of listening well, as we discussed above, means making an effort to be sure that you understand what someone else is saying. This is especially helpful in difficult conversations where you struggle to see eye to eye with your parents. Seeking to gain understanding, like listening, shows that you’re invested in what your parents have to say and are open to understanding it, even if you don’t like what is being said or asked of you. This behavior may encourage your parents to be more open to asking questions of you in an effort to better connect and understand you when it comes to difficult conversations.
Be honest
When it comes to maintaining a strong relationship and good communication with parents as a teenager, honesty is absolutely essential. Although communication is not always easy, it is made much more difficult when there’s not a foundation of trust at the base of it all. If you and your parents can trust one another, it makes it much easier to remember that everyone is on the same team when it comes to communication.
Be willing to apologize
No matter how skilled we become at communicating or who we communicate with, we won’t always get it right. Sometimes things are misunderstood even when we communicate with with the best intentions. Being willing to quickly and earnestly apologize if you lose your cool, make a mistake, or hurt someone's feelings while communicating solidifies trust, and makes finding a resolution much easier. Sometimes apologies are warranted from both sides and although it’s not always easy, being the first to apologize can change the tone of a communication attempt gone wrong and make it easier for everyone to take a step, back, reevaluate, and try again.
These tools are not only useful for family communication between parents and teens. These communication skills will be useful for all types of communication as you move forward throughout your life. If you need support while you learn to use these skills, don’t hesitate to ask a trusted adult or friend who is a great communicator to give advice and feedback. Working with a therapist is also a great way to practice communication in a safe environment where you can learn and receive feedback. If you’re looking for a therapist in St. Petersburg to support you as you improve your communication skills, feel free to contact us at Blossom Into A Better You to schedule an appointment!
