The Difference Between Sexuality and Gender
When it comes to discovering your sexuality and gender, it is important to remember that your journey is entirely unique and individual to you. Having questions about your sexuality, gender, or both is a normal part of discovering the many aspects that make you who you are. While sexuality and gender are frequently discussed at the same time. It is important to note that they are not the same thing and do not always relate to one another. Today, we’ll cover some of the differences between sexuality and gender that may help you feel more supported as a young adult in your discovery of self.
Before we get into the differences between sexuality and gender, let us first define them to help better understand the differences as we get into them:
Sexuality - Our sexuality pertains to our sexual interests, desires, and the people that we find ourselves attracted to. This is not something that necessarily remains the same throughout our entire lifetime, although for some of us, it does.
Gender - Our gender is defined internally, and is not always related to the biological sex we are born as. Sometimes, it is, and sometimes our gender identity evolves over time.
When questions about sexuality and gender arise, it can be scary to find a safe place to ask questions and receive feedback. A common misconception is that only LGBTQ+ teens or LGBTQ+ Young Adults have questions about their sexuality. People of all sexualities and identities may question themselves at one or many points in their lives. However, it is more common for LGBTQ+ trends and young adults to have questions in a society that doesn’t yet create adequate space for these individuals to express and explore their identities openly.
Who we are vs who we’re attracted to
When it comes to sexuality, the matter of who is determined by who we are attracted to. However, when it comes to gender, it is more a matter of who we are internally. Although gender expression may cause someone to be curious about someone’s sexuality depending on how they present themselves, it is important to recognize that the very nature of that question itself carries the remnants of gender binaries and assumed sexuality based on gender expression.
Relates to others vs relates to ourselves
Exploring sexuality is a journey that is very personal but not always taken alone. It may involve sexual partners, or it may not. You do not have to be sexually active or have had sexual experiences with the people you’re attracted to for your sexual interests to be valid. Gender, however, is entirely personal while it may be helpful to discuss your feelings about your gender in a safe space, the way you prefer to self-identify and outwardly express your gender is entirely up to you.
What if I don’t know my sexuality or gender?
Both sexuality and gender can exist on a spectrum for many people. The idea of gender binaries and labeled sexualities are both societal constructs that not everyone feels aligned with. If that is you, please remember that you are exactly as you should be, regardless of whether or not you fall neatly under a label that society has created. Some people feel very confident in their sexuality and gender from a young age, and others may find that it evolves for them over time.
If you’re asking questions about either your sexuality or gender, Blossom Into A Better You is a safe space for support, advice, and direction. Seeking help from a mental health professional ensures privacy, healthy advice, and a good listening ear.
Do sexuality and gender ever overlap?
While sexuality and gender are two distinctly different things, they are both aspects of who a person is and therefore, may work together when a person self defines. For example, someone who is pansexual is defined as a person who is sexually and romantically attracted to people regardless of their gender. Although their sexuality is fluid, they may also identify as the gender that matches their biological sex. Alternatively, someone may identify as gender fluid while only being sexually attracted to women. While those things don’t always dictate one another, they do work together as parts of the many pieces that make a person who they are.
Are you seeking support and community with other LGBTQ+ young adults? Blossom Into A Better You in St. Petersburg, FL offers individual and group therapy for young women who are questioning their sexuality and gender or navigating life in the LGBTQ+ community. Our goal is to provide a safe space where education and community care bring individuals closer to themselves and one another (in our group programs.) We know that all sexualities and genders have a place in our society and believe in empowering young adults to step confidently into their identities to create a more inclusive, loving world that celebrates us all.
To schedule an appointment, please contact us!
